Figuring out the Why?

I have this friend. We are a bit more than friends, but ultimately I value his friendship first an foremost. He is smart and funny and thoughtful. I enjoy the time we spend together. But sometimes we don't get along. We bicker. And it's frustrating. And I can't figure out why we can be happy together one minute, to me wanting to throw him out of the car the next. It has been happening more now than in the beginning when we were first getting to know each other. The only explanation I can come up with is that I'm getting scared. Because I don't know where this relationship is going. I am happy recognizing us as simply "existing". But the fact of the matter is we have become quite close. Label or no label we have hit a new point in our relationship. I left my last one because I didn't want to worry about another person's happiness. I want to worry about my own. And I want to be sure that the choices I make are ones leading me toward accomplishing my goals. So this new closeness is getting to my subconscious. She's worried that I am getting wrapped up in something that will detract me from path to success. And I challenge it. I'm looking for faults where there are none. Serious ones at least. We are both pretty bullheaded. We both have strong opinions and when they clash we get defensive. I don't want to battle my friend. I don't like to fight. Really he makes me happy. That is what I should be focusing on. I feel pretty fortunate to have found someone that prefers the truth. So that at least when he angers me he can see it, and he calls me out on it. I'm the kind of person that has to have everything out in the open. When all cards are on the table its easier to figure out the next best move. And if it's something hard to hear, at least getting over it comes faster.
I wanted to write this out so I could piece my thoughts into an explanation. Now that I think I have it figured out, I think I know what I need to do. Stop worrying about someone trying to get close to you. You need someone that will be there for you. Even if you are Miss Independent. Everyone needs a friend sometimes. So problems are just too big to shoulder by yourself, so let this person who is willing to listen and wants to help be apart of your life. And stop worrying about where it is going because that really doesn't matter. You can turn and run, but you've already been that direction. Life's too short to waist time walking backwards. Everything will fall into place. It always does.

Live day by day, and do what makes you happy.